Jul. 31st, 2007

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1. I often feel awkward around Jews who I think are better (i.e. more religious/observant) than I am. I feel like I ... my shortcomings are heightened, hilighted by their observance. I feel badly that I'm not as good a Jew as I think I should be/as I think others expect me to be. I know this is all irrational, which is why I'm couching it in terms of feeling.

2. On a cheerier note, I got quite a compliment yesterday! I spent Saturday hiking w/my sister and her new beau. I've met him once before, but didn't spend as much time with them. We hiked around, talked a lot, ate dinner together, watched a movie, and they dropped me at my car. Talking with my sister last night, she reported back on what he thought of me. She said he said I was cute - "she's your sister, so ick, but she's cute! She looks good, she has a good body." He said if he met me in a bar he'd date me. This is really flattering, because few people say such things directly, or at least not that get reported back to the person in question, and also because it's my sister's guy that's saying this. My sister and I are not the same body type, and I have long thought of my sister as the beautiful one. I have a good opinion of my physical self these days, but if I were the type to compare I'd say she's prettier. It's really cool to hear someone who's attracted to her say I'm also attractive.

Yes, to those reading who know both of us, I know this is also an irrational thought construct. It will be, given my distinct lack of objectivity.

Anyway, hi. Things are going generally well. I'm still in a great relationship, my sister's situation is getting better so there's less of that stress on me, I'm trying to organize my life a bit better, and my apartment is still a mess. }:-> There's no escaping one's self, after all.


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