openupenterin: (Default)
I take birth control in order to maintain regularity - without it, I might have another period in a month, or maybe three, or somewhere in between. Who knows. I also take it as a contraceptive, since I happen to have a sex life. In my mind, we primarily use condoms; even though both are present, I consider the condom the active method.

I was recently (and in my mind, unexpectedly) given the opportunity to have sex without the condom. It totally threw me. I said no, because I had traveled and therefore timing of taking the pill was off and I didn't want to risk it. Upon further thought, I wish I'd let it happen, because it would've been very nice, and I was about a week off from my period, and I'm so not regular anyway, I can't imagine I'd catch from one time on a day when I skipped one pill. My thought at the time, though, was 'no no no horrible timing can't process this it's a big decision aaagh!'

Why is it a big decision, if I'm using a pill? (I'm not on The Pill, because I changed pills because my insurance won't cover The Pill I've been on since college. Grr arrg. Anyway.) I think maybe because it becomes solely my responsibility, and if I fuck up and skip a night, it becomes me taking that chance. Again, I'm not actively concerned, but there are lots of mothers who weren't concerned, I bet.

I like the thought of not needing a condom. We're a very well-established couple. We've tested clean of disease for years, and haven't had other sexual partners for years. I would just need to maintain that elusive self-discipline, regulate my schedule enough to actually take the damn pill at the same time, every night, consistently, without fail. It doesn't seem like this is a big thing, but it's all about the mindset. Yeah, it's taken at the same time each night anyway, but if it's for the sake of regularity, one night won't really kill me, and neither will skipping the last 3 or so pills in the cycle, since I'm just about to bleed anyway, what's a little leeway on when it starts? However, when it's my sole method of birth control, it's a different story.

Bottom line: until such time as other partners come into play (no pun intended) again, and condoms become more than simply birth control, maybe I should get used to the idea of not using them again. It was fine for a time there, I don't think I've changed bodily/hormonally since then.

Also, why is it called birth control? Contraceptive is the more accurate description; there are a lot of things that "control" birth, and this is not it. If it was "birth control", why wouldn't women be taking it as the birthing process, labor, is about to happen? Hmmmm...
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